Whereas this is a deep, meaningful relationship

More on the Separatist Seven recruited by Jean Lapierre (that makes eight, doesn't it? - ed.) to run as Martinistes -- I mean Liberals -- sorry, federalists in the next election. Apparently, they were never separatists. Not even former Parti Qu�b�cois MNA L�vis Brien. According to the Prime Minister, that was just a "flirtation."

"Some of them had a brief flirtation. Others had a slightly longer flirtation, but I can tell you that every single one of those people is a strong Canadian."

Strong Canadians. Every one. Still, a lot of Liberals are said (off the record, deep background, for God's sake don't quote me) to be very nervous about what the strutting bantam in epaulets is up to, seeing echoes of Brian Mulroney's recruitment of people like former federal cabinet minister Monique ("I was never a federalist") V�zina. (And by Liberals, I don't mean Warren Kinsella). On the other hand, St�phane Dion is reported to have endorsed the strategy. Sort of. Here's the quote:

"For someone who believes [in Canada], I have no problem, even if it is a discovery that is more recent than for some others. My problem would be someone who only supports Canada conditionally. "We must not have in our ranks someone who would leave to join the Bloc at the first difficulty." [Hmm. Now who do you suppose fits that description?]

Well, then, there's no problem. For as the PM assures us:

The fact is that none of those people are separatists. Every single one of them is a Canadian federalist. They're nationalists but they are not separatists and they have committed themselves very, very strongly to the unity of our country.

How strongly? "Very, very strongly." How strongly? Let's listen, again, to M. Brien, who had earlier told us he had joined the Martin team because Mr. Martin was "un winner" and because "my political experience taught me that being in the Opposition means watching 'cheques passing by' to go elsewhere." He tells the Globe and Mail:

"I believe that in the long term, Quebec loses by being in opposition," he said. "Let's be part of a team of winners, and go and get the maximum for Quebec." When asked whether he meets Mr. Dion's test of unconditional "adherence" to Canada, Mr. Brien said, "After two referendums, I think that there is a way to be in Canada, and to work in co-operation and collaboration, particularly with Paul Martin's team." He also said, "I am for Canada, yes, a Canada that works well."

True patriot love, innit? I'm all choked up. POST-SCRIPT: Of course, it was Harper who in 2000 advised Albertans that "it is time to seek a new relationship with Canada," since "Alberta and much of the rest of Canada have embarked on divergent and potentially hostile paths." Indeed, "it is time ... to become maitres chez nous," following the example of Quebec. At least one member of the Conservative caucus, Diane Ablonczy, is a former Alberta separatist. Two others, Myron Thompson and Darrell Stinson, attended the founding meeting of the Alberta Independence Party, after which Thompson commented: "If this is a way to wake up [the federal] government and strengthen the provincial powers that should be in place, then [it] might have some value to it." As for Quebec, Belinda Stronach's leadership campaign was based on an overt pitch to Quebec nationalists, even denouncing an elected Senate as an alien concept that should not be "imposed" on Quebecers. And it was Harper who seems to have gotten away with saying, during the Montreal debate, that a Conservative government would "deliver the merchandise" in Quebec. That's what this country has become: a big pinata for one region or another to whack 'til it spills the goodies. And every party plays this game, since every region is convinced it's being exploited by all the others.