They always get their bagman
The federal Liberal party, beset by allegations public money was funnelled into its Quebec wing, said Monday it has asked the RCMP to investigate the possibility the party was a victim of fraud. -- CP
(SCENE: Situation room, RCMP Special Investigations Unit.)
… No, don’t get up. And you can cut out the salutes, too. For this kind of operation, you’re going to have to forget all about that stuff.
Now, we’ve been given a mission, the likes of which I can’t recall seeing in thirty years on the force. We’ve been told that a group of individuals, posing as members of the Liberal Party of Canada, have been soliciting contributions to the party in exchange for promises of federal contracts. It is further alleged that these individuals, though wholly unconnected with the party, then absconded with the cash -- money that rightfully belonged to the party. I’m sure you can see the seriousness of this matter.
At least, that’s one theory we’re working on. The other is that certain other individuals promised to pay the party sums of money in exchange for federal contracts, but never delivered on their half of the bargain. All we know at this point is that the party has been the victim of a massive fraud. How do we know this? Because the party told us so, and as you know, that’s always been good enough for us.
From what we’ve been given to understand, this has been going on for many years -- decades, in fact. Unbeknownst to the party, a group of seasoned confidence men have been posing as the government of Canada, raising vast sums of money from unsuspecting corporations -- major banks, aerospace firms, accountants, law firms -- even writing cheques on the government’s account to some of those same corporations. Bombardier, in particular, has sworn out a writ to this effect. It’s probably the largest case of identity theft I’ve ever come across.
The amounts raised by this ring are almost incomprehensible: millions of dollars, every year. Senior bankers were told that every other bank had given a hundred thousand dollars: did they want to be the odd man out? Lawyers were left the strong impression that if they wanted to be in line for appointments to regulatory boards and such it was wise to be known as “good Liberals.” In the most daring part of the scam, these fraudsters actually succeeded in passing legislation diverting millions of dollars of federal cash into their coffers, every year, forever. That’s right, what was previously illegal was made legal: it was called “campaign finance reform.” You can imagine the party’s shock when it found out about this.
And yet we know that none of this money was finding its way to the party, because even after being in power for more than a decade, even after all these millions of dollars were supposedly raised on its behalf, the party’s finances are still a mess. In particular, as the party’s lawyer, Doug Mitchell, told a press conference the other day, “the Quebec wing was some $3-million in debt. This is hardly in keeping with assertions that the party was receiving substantial benefit through inappropriate means.” You can see his point: Why would a party that was swimming in debt be so desperate to raise funds?
This will be as difficult and challenging a case as any of you will ever handle. These people could be anywhere, and everywhere. Remember, they can pass themselves off as Liberals even among Liberals. Their tentacles extend into every wing of the party, and every corner of the country. The federal Transport minister, Jean Lapierre -- what’s that, Officer Parnell? Yes, yes, he should know about passing as a Liberal, very funny -- has suggested “it is possible there was a parallel group to the legitimately elected party officials.” This is entirely plausible: We know, thanks to a report by the federal ethics counsellor, Howard Wilson, that there was a “parellel group” operating in Quebec in the late 1990s, secretly vetting the distribution of federal grants under the Transitional Jobs Fund. Mind you, those were Liberal party officials: presidents of riding associations, organizers, provincial Liberals. Or at least, so we thought at the time.
Now, I want you to split up into two teams. The first group, Operation Rouge Baiser, will pose as aides to Liberal cabinet ministers, dangling federal contracts in hopes of luring unscrupulous “Liberal” advertising executives into offering them large contributions. I suggest hanging out in cigar bars, luxury boxes at Canadiens games, lakeside chalets, that kind of thing. Officer Papineau, you did such a good job on the Francois Beaudoin case, I’m putting you in charge. Take Officer Mackenzie with you: the boys on the Airbus file can manage without him.
The other group, Operation Scarlet Pimpernel, will pose as unscrupulous advertising executives, dangling large contributions in hopes of luring phoney “Liberal” ministers into offering them federal contracts. Officer Krakowski, when you’re finished tying up the loose ends on the Air India case, I want you to take this one on. Now I’m only going to say this once: I do not want to find out, some months hence, that each group has been taking meetings with the other. We’re in deep enough on this sponsorship business as it is.
Right, that’s all for now. Godspeed, and remember: the fate of the Liberal Party rests with you.
(SCENE: Situation room, RCMP Special Investigations Unit.)
… No, don’t get up. And you can cut out the salutes, too. For this kind of operation, you’re going to have to forget all about that stuff.
Now, we’ve been given a mission, the likes of which I can’t recall seeing in thirty years on the force. We’ve been told that a group of individuals, posing as members of the Liberal Party of Canada, have been soliciting contributions to the party in exchange for promises of federal contracts. It is further alleged that these individuals, though wholly unconnected with the party, then absconded with the cash -- money that rightfully belonged to the party. I’m sure you can see the seriousness of this matter.
At least, that’s one theory we’re working on. The other is that certain other individuals promised to pay the party sums of money in exchange for federal contracts, but never delivered on their half of the bargain. All we know at this point is that the party has been the victim of a massive fraud. How do we know this? Because the party told us so, and as you know, that’s always been good enough for us.
From what we’ve been given to understand, this has been going on for many years -- decades, in fact. Unbeknownst to the party, a group of seasoned confidence men have been posing as the government of Canada, raising vast sums of money from unsuspecting corporations -- major banks, aerospace firms, accountants, law firms -- even writing cheques on the government’s account to some of those same corporations. Bombardier, in particular, has sworn out a writ to this effect. It’s probably the largest case of identity theft I’ve ever come across.
The amounts raised by this ring are almost incomprehensible: millions of dollars, every year. Senior bankers were told that every other bank had given a hundred thousand dollars: did they want to be the odd man out? Lawyers were left the strong impression that if they wanted to be in line for appointments to regulatory boards and such it was wise to be known as “good Liberals.” In the most daring part of the scam, these fraudsters actually succeeded in passing legislation diverting millions of dollars of federal cash into their coffers, every year, forever. That’s right, what was previously illegal was made legal: it was called “campaign finance reform.” You can imagine the party’s shock when it found out about this.
And yet we know that none of this money was finding its way to the party, because even after being in power for more than a decade, even after all these millions of dollars were supposedly raised on its behalf, the party’s finances are still a mess. In particular, as the party’s lawyer, Doug Mitchell, told a press conference the other day, “the Quebec wing was some $3-million in debt. This is hardly in keeping with assertions that the party was receiving substantial benefit through inappropriate means.” You can see his point: Why would a party that was swimming in debt be so desperate to raise funds?
This will be as difficult and challenging a case as any of you will ever handle. These people could be anywhere, and everywhere. Remember, they can pass themselves off as Liberals even among Liberals. Their tentacles extend into every wing of the party, and every corner of the country. The federal Transport minister, Jean Lapierre -- what’s that, Officer Parnell? Yes, yes, he should know about passing as a Liberal, very funny -- has suggested “it is possible there was a parallel group to the legitimately elected party officials.” This is entirely plausible: We know, thanks to a report by the federal ethics counsellor, Howard Wilson, that there was a “parellel group” operating in Quebec in the late 1990s, secretly vetting the distribution of federal grants under the Transitional Jobs Fund. Mind you, those were Liberal party officials: presidents of riding associations, organizers, provincial Liberals. Or at least, so we thought at the time.
Now, I want you to split up into two teams. The first group, Operation Rouge Baiser, will pose as aides to Liberal cabinet ministers, dangling federal contracts in hopes of luring unscrupulous “Liberal” advertising executives into offering them large contributions. I suggest hanging out in cigar bars, luxury boxes at Canadiens games, lakeside chalets, that kind of thing. Officer Papineau, you did such a good job on the Francois Beaudoin case, I’m putting you in charge. Take Officer Mackenzie with you: the boys on the Airbus file can manage without him.
The other group, Operation Scarlet Pimpernel, will pose as unscrupulous advertising executives, dangling large contributions in hopes of luring phoney “Liberal” ministers into offering them federal contracts. Officer Krakowski, when you’re finished tying up the loose ends on the Air India case, I want you to take this one on. Now I’m only going to say this once: I do not want to find out, some months hence, that each group has been taking meetings with the other. We’re in deep enough on this sponsorship business as it is.
Right, that’s all for now. Godspeed, and remember: the fate of the Liberal Party rests with you.
4/05/2005
