Housesitting for Andrew Coyne

Dear Andrew, Thanks for looking after the place while I’m gone. I’m away for a couple of weeks, to the annual Asper/Coyne snowshoe race around Lake of the Woods. No way is Leonard winning this time. There’s not much you need to do – the plants are plastic, so don’t bother watering them. Remember this is Toronto, so you’ll need to separate any waste into the seven colour-coded recycling boxes stored out back. Regular garbage is only picked up every six weeks, so try not to cook or eat or anything. Help yourself to the booze, but don’t drink all my scotch. And keep your paws off the leather-bound copies of Hansard. Otherwise, enjoy the place and we’ll see you in a few weeks. Yours, AC Oh wait, I almost forgot: Don’t forget to feed the fish! That’s the most important thing. I usually feed them a steady diet of Canadian politics, but they’ll actually eat anything. They’ll even chew your arm off, so be careful. They normally eat six or seven times a day, but feel free to do it less often. They’ve been on a bit of a binge lately and could stand to go on a diet