Stop, you're killing me

The position of the government of Canada is very clear. We have always opposed torture of any kind. We don’t like to hear of anyone being tortured. And this government is willing to take the difficult steps needed to make sure that we never do...

That is why, whenever we hand over any Taliban prisoners our forces have captured to the Afghanistan, what I’ll call “authorities,” we rely on the Red Cross to keep us informed of any and all abuses, so far as their policy of not providing such information allows. 

That is to say, we rely on the good offices of the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission, and very good offices they are, too, if you don’t mind doing without a phone, or electricity, or access to major prisons. It’s important to recognize, this is the agency responsible for human rights in Afghanistan. Need I say more? 

But let me be perfectly clear: we don’t need the Afghans to tell us what’s going on. We have just signed an agreement, allowing us visitation rights whenever we want on alternate Sundays. That is to say, we are in the process of negotiating such an agreement. That is to say, we already have an agreement. That is to say, we don’t need an agreement: we have all the access we could ever want. 

Not that we even need access, you understand. We have no evidence that any torture is going on in any jail in Afghanistan. That is to say, we are unaware of any reports to that effect, other than the one our own Foreign Affairs officials prepared for us, whose existence we officially deny. Oh, and one by Human Rights Watch. Also Amnesty International. And the UN Commissioner for Human Rights. And the US State Department.

A word on that Foreign Affairs report. The fact that certain highly incriminating passages, contradicting everything we had previously said on the matter, were blacked out in the copy that was eventually released, should not be taken as evidence that we were responsible, or even aware of what they contained. The minister of Foreign Affairs, in particular, has not been given security clearance.

But remember, these are allegations only. Allegations, let me repeat, not proof. We have a tradition in this country that you are innocent until proven guilty, and so are the good people at the Afghan secret police. Besides, who are you going to believe, us or a bunch of Taliban terrorists? Bear in mind, these people are trained to lie. They’re taught how to keep their story straight. They have no idea of how things are done here.

But, to be clear, these are serious allegations, and we take these allegations very seriously, as is our practice in any case of such alleged seriousness. No, seriously. We stand ready to assist the Afghan government in its investigation of itself, with whatever evidence it sees fit to provide us. We dismiss these allegations as terrorist lies only as a signal of our commitment to a thorough and impartial inquiry. 

Or if I may put the matter another way, what allegations? Let me quote the Government House Leader from this past Sunday: “We have yet to see one single specific allegation of torture.” That is to say, we have received two, from Corrections Canada officials assigned to the Afghan prison system. Or to quote the Government House leader again, “baseless accusations made by those who wish to undermine our forces there.”

That is the kind of vigilance this government has demonstrated throughout this affair. Sure, a newspaper reporter was able to collect 30 similar cases of alleged whipping, beating, and maiming in his spare time. But as soon as we heard about these, alerted by our highly-trained professional clipping service, we swung into action. No fewer than four different ministers have commented publicly on it -- five, if you count the Defence minister. Between them, they have provided at least a dozen different explanations. That’s one for every two and a half alleged victims of torture. And with any luck we should soon be able to locate the other half.

Clearly, it’s a messy, complicated situation over there. What would you have us do: sign agreements like the British and the Dutch, guaranteeing unimpeded access to all prisoners captured by our forces from the start? It can’t be done. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few legs.

For now, let’s let the investigation proceed, shall we? Even as we speak, Afghan government officials are interviewing other Afghan government officials about what they knew. If they won’t cooperate, well, let’s just say they have ways of making themselves talk.